I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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