what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize