Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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