He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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