HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
