If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize