And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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