When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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