And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
