I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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