I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
