i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
