we're blogging at a bar
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
