All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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