I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
