who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need to calm my uterus...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
