If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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