Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
