Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
