It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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