also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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