Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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