I am puke
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
