The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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