he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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