I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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