what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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