im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There's always time for handjobs
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
