Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
