Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
