I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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