so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
