I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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