That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His nipple licking is glorious
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