is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
