Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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