whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
