Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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