Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
His nipple licking is glorious
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