saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
