I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize