First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
