i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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