careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
