just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
