Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize