I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
