What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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