I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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