2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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