Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
