you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
