is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
