I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
