Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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