Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize