got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
