then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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