Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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